i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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