Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i love accidental penises.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
