We're like a lot better than the average bears
...so i touched it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
