apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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