The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
