Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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