is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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