Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?