I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.