My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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