so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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