Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dick very happy bro
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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