Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize