I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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