Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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