See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
