Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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