but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
