some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm too high and old for this...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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