Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
