I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident