I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast