Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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  (917): fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker http://tfl.nu/ivhi
  Replies (22) Good night (1123) Bad night (3423)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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  (313): I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes http://tfl.nu/9zua
  Replies (50) Good night (5443) Bad night (756)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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  (513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0
  Replies (19) Good night (5883) Bad night (894)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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  (412): I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together. http://tfl.nu/59bc
  Replies (14) Good night (844) Bad night (4019)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself

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  (856): i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself http://tfl.nu/wqdu
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (2725)
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  (760): View more from California

  I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog

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  (760): I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog http://tfl.nu/x4z4
  Replies (10) Good night (3995) Bad night (1093)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1084) Bad night (3180)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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  (916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6
  Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (2543)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?

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  (785): Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head? http://tfl.nu/u71n
  Replies (4) Good night (1556) Bad night (758)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

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  (605): We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone. http://tfl.nu/46r1
  Replies (5) Good night (2647) Bad night (626)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.

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  (201): We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home. http://tfl.nu/pssh
  Replies (35) Good night (2313) Bad night (1316)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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  (775): Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent http://tfl.nu/ylaq
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (1149)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.

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  (321): I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this. http://tfl.nu/3qlv
  Replies (11) Good night (1792) Bad night (449)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.

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  (480): It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/0fqk
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (209)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Regret, thy taste is box wine.

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  (317): Regret, thy taste is box wine. http://tfl.nu/587h
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (235)

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