so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
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Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.