glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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