Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.

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(512): were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself. http://tfl.nu/ien5

Replies (2) Good night (1993) Bad night (1104)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you

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(321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you http://tfl.nu/ey1b

Replies (71) Good night (3824) Bad night (711)
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(925): View more from California

First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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(925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi

Replies (91) Good night (776) Bad night (9818)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

Replies (21) Good night (691) Bad night (2414)
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(802): View more from Vermont

clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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(802): clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven. http://tfl.nu/4bru

Replies (7) Good night (779) Bad night (2724)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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(416): I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed... http://tfl.nu/ew3h

Replies (18) Good night (1506) Bad night (4468)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.

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(301): I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door. (215): Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go. http://tfl.nu/76is

Replies (12) Good night (3707) Bad night (1722)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

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(608): Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/2p0f

Replies (1) Good night (1375) Bad night (665)
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(516): View more from New York

If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.

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(516): If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar. http://tfl.nu/qpqr

Replies (2) Good night (1531) Bad night (689)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.

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(309): Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe. http://tfl.nu/wokx

Replies (2) Good night (1293) Bad night (583)
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(613): View more from Ontario

New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.

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(613): New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple. http://tfl.nu/c07n

Replies (12) Good night (2152) Bad night (746)
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(438): View more from Quebec

Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?

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(438): Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room? http://tfl.nu/i0aj

Replies (15) Good night (659) Bad night (1145)
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(214): View more from Texas

we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked

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(214): we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked http://tfl.nu/kx03

Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (289)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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(775): He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks http://tfl.nu/jztr

Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (328)
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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(406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l

Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (276)

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