Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
