She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.