He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize