Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
