I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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