at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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