Cold hands, warm shart.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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