You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
