i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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