On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it hurts more in the daytime
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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