Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
