You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize