i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
