I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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