So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize