Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
