she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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