You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
