Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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