i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My bed smells like the plague
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