We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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