Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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