never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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