I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
