I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
