we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
