i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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