I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
