I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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