It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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