Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
