Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
