Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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