I hate your face
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
