YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
