ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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