1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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