Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
