I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
