That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
